Where conditional and unconditional collide!

My conditions for loving God:
1. You have to keep me happy
2. Keep me safe
3. Getting married and having kids is a must
4. I need money..could you help me out?
5. Soo my future..need to know that like NOW!
6. Make people like me
7. Send me somewhere super fun and safe
8. Speaking in public..don't even think about it!
9. Understand I just can't love that person..they were mean to me.

So God what are your conditions for loving me?

Jocelyn, I don't have any conditions. I've loved you from the moment you were merely clay in my hands. I love you when you don't obey me, when your angry, distant, selfish, ignorant, stubborn, not compassionate and when worried about your reputation. I love you when you want to live inside your safety box, I even love when you try to treat me like a fortune cookie or magic eight ball! Truth is, I will never stop loving you no matter what!

God, I don't understand...you have no conditions on when you will love me? Why? This makes no sense.

My answer is simply because your my child.